9.21.2003

Pinball Wizard

Your eyes are like spheres of glue filled with shimmering worms.

This is my compliment of the day, courtesy of the Surrealist Compliment Generator, which I still love. Actually, this was the third attempt, as my first compliment was in French including a bunch of words I didn't know and was too lazy to look up, and my second compliment was in Spanish, which I don't speak.

I brought home a bunch of editing for the weekend, but I just can't concentrate. This job situation in this town is really draining. I feel like my husband is in a pinball machine, being smashed back and forth between metal, plastic, any sort of obstacle possible until he gets sucked down the hole only to start the whole process again. It's not just the money I'm worried about, it's the fact that it's so draining and depressing, that we both just sit at home and stare at the wall, feeling an iron walnut in our stomachs. The fun we used to have is gone lately - we're just too stressed out. Which makes me angry, because we have such a great thing, and were so lucky to find each other, I hate to waste time not enjoying life like we should be. Okay, that's all about that. Whining about problems isn't what I want to be doing on here, I just can't help it today, that's all I can think about.

It's finally sunny again. The salmon aren't yet jumping up the creeks, but they should be soon, which is really incredible to watch. Talk about tenacity. Those are some very determined fish. I think I remember reading that they don't sleep when they're migrating to spawn, which means days and days, maybe weeks, just swimming upstream against the current, throwing themselves over rocks, up salmon ladders, through culverts, over other salmon. There is a huge mob of birds fighting over the birdfeeder on our back deck right now. They get really aggressive, and unfortunately, the ones who can't get to the feeder often take their anger out on my herb garden on the porch. Poor little herbs.

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