10.07.2003

it's time to blow this popsicle stand

Really. We need to get out of this town. It's a great town and all, but we're both feeling stifled, bored, and trapped. The fact that we're planning to leave the country soon is a good thing, because it's exactly the sort of change we need right now, but at the same time it means that we are stuck here for nine more months. I know, it's not that long, but it feels like it. I like Bellingham, and I like our friends here and everything, but we're both kinda working jobs that mean nothing to us and feeling like we're going nowhere. It's the whole "OK, I got the degree, so now what?" realization. And if it doesn't get any better than this, I swear I'll take out a post office somewhere. And I know that is a statement coming from a privileged silly girl who's never had it really hard, but honestly, I'm sick of feeling guilty about being privileged while I eat nothing but noodles and bread with peanut butter for a week because I can't afford groceries. We saw the movie Lost in Translation last night - it's truly excellent, I recommend it. I really resonated with both characters, and the director did a great job of using both actor's strengths to produce a really incredible movie about loneliness and being lost, without much "plot" in the traditional sense to distract from the emotions and the characters. I've never seen a movie with so many scenes of characters waiting, sitting, staring at the ceiling trying to sleep, but nothing much happening. And that's what made the movie. So, I guess the movie is what brought it all up, the feeling of needing to get on with things and DO something and go somewhere else. Honestly, I'm tired of living in college towns - I want to live in a city where there's a wider variety of people and everyone doesn't look and act the same. And I know that's a raging generalization and there are all different kinds of people here, but on the bus every morning, I swear there's fifty clones of the same girl and I am just going to punch her in the face if she says "omigod" one more time. I feel like I'm in high school again, listening to Rage Against the Machine in the parking lot before the bell rings and writing angry poems in assignment notebooks. OK, I'll shut up now.

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