11.26.2003

shout, shout, let it all out

You should all go take this 80s music quiz, brought to you courtesy of Ted, your local 80s fanatic. I did pretty poorly because the songs started sounding the same in my head as I tried to remember the words. Maybe that's because all those songs do sound the same! Not much new going on in my life this week. Work, yoga, you know the routine. Amazing how little variety one experiences during the day in an office. Take my word for it - very very little. For the last 3 years. Which is why I get Dilbert delivered to my e-mail daily - for survival purposes. But wait! There is variety this week! I have two days off, meaning tomorrow is technically Friday. Yay for variety and holidays! I have to make a dessert tonight for a coworkers going away party tomorrow, she's leaving for another job. What's a good sayonara dessert? I make a mean German chocolate cake, but I won't have much time after yoga, so I'm thinking Ghiradelli brownies from a mix will have to do.

11.22.2003

So, only one Japanese class left and then we're on our own. I don't feel that I've absorbed nearly as much as I could have because I basically only studied for the hour just before class every week. But, I will definitely start working on it more intensely in the coming months. It also sounds like there's a possibility of doing private tutoring with the prof., so we could really make some progress that way. A really nice couple that was in the Japanese class is on their way to Yokohama in about a month (at least I think that's where it was, to teach at the university there) so we may have another connection over there, since they'll be there for at least 2 years, they'll still be there when we move there. As many people as we know when we get there, the better. This weekend I definitely have to write that essay, because everything has to be sent off next week. I am having problems focusing on anything other than plans to move, I think because all the day-to-day stuff in my life is both tiring and overwhelming, and getting a little stale. I really am craving a change of scenery. However, I do have to ground myself a little, because I'm going to drive myself insane in the coming months if I think about nothing other than Japan. I've been worrying about silly things, like what kind of shoes to buy to wear as indoor shoes for work, rather than the basic stuff I need to do now, like write the application essay and research as many back-up job plans as possible. There are a lot on daves esl cafe and other sites. Tons in fact. But the problem of the husband and I both getting work in the same place, and that place not being a major city, and the possibility of us trying to coordinate two different employment situations that may not coincide easily is a bit daunting. Especially wanting to do it all from here in advance. So, I am obsessing, quite a lot in fact, so I apologize if it gets boring. I just wanna go!

11.21.2003

I feel so honored

... to have been identified with Jhonen in this silly quiz. He's one of my heroes. And the crush I've always had on Nny is probably really for him. I already did mention my affinity for goths, right? Such beautiful boots they wear.

Well, it seems like the cold I was fighting off may have decided not to settle in, so now I'm only dealing with the typical sleep deprivation. I can handle that. It seems that the only time I am free and on a computer is when I first get to work in the morning, so that is becoming blog update time. However, when I first get to work in the morning, I am for all intents and purposes completely brain-dead, so I can't say my posts are all that interesting. Or witty. Or have any sort of content whatsoever. I've been reading a lot of gaijin-in-Japan blogs, and Dansen mentioned that his site was more about his life than about "Woo, I'm in Japan." Or something to that effect. Let me just say that any site that I'll ever have will be "Woo I'm going to Japan" and then "Woo I'm in Japan" whether I mean for it to be or not. I'll admit this here because hopefully you all know I'm fairly open-minded and not a complete hick, but it honestly doesn't seem quite real to me that I could actually go and live in another country. I think because I've never even been to another country, excepting Canada. It doesn't even seem real to me that I could go live in California, or in New York. The only thing that's going to bring it into reality for me is to go live in these places. The most different place I've been from Montana and Washington, the only two places I've lived, is Hawaii, and while it does have a very unique culture of its own, I don't think I actually got to see much of it while doing the typical American tourist thing. So, I apologize for any naivete about other countries/cultures, etc. on this site. But I'm from Montana, so cut me some slack.

11.20.2003

I found a link to hunkabutta on Dansen's links page, and have spent the past 15 minutes looking at all the photos of Tokyo and envying the digital camera. That's something we really do have to buy before we move there. And I have to learn how to make a real website. Anyway, check out the gallery photos from the first year at hunkabutta - there are lots of great photos of the punks in Harajuku. I don't know why I've always loved people who dress to the extreme - punk, goth, 1920's, whatever. But, I do love them - I will like someone I don't know just because they're dressed like that. I'll also like someone I don't know if they smell good, but that's another story. And of course, I myself dress about as conservatively as someone who has had her mother buy her most of her clothes will tend to dress. Someday... when I'm retired... I'll get to dress like a punk too. When I'm an old lady, I shall wear purple - and piercings!

11.19.2003

clockwork

I stayed up too late for the last few nights trying to rewrite this application essay, which is currently quite terrible and only about half finished. Therefore, today I have a sore throat and am feeling like the weather outside - gray, cold, sloppy, and uncomfortable. Every time I get stressed out and sleep-deprived and come in contact with a cold germ, it's inevitable. My immune system is completely directly linked to the amount of sleep and sanity in my life. Luckily, if I sleep for at least 12 hours straight, I can usually kick it before it starts, but with the amount of things I have to do this week I don't see that being a possibility. I'm drinking tea with zinc and echinachea instead. My house is currently a reflection of my brain - it looks like a hurricane came through it. I love the holiday season, and I'd love to just relax and enjoy it. Maybe after this application gets sent. But there will always be something, I'm sure. I really wish I was taking some form of holiday vacation - perhaps I'll take a few days off the week of Christmas even though we're not going anywhere. Sanity-replenishing days. Why should only people who are going somewhere take time off anyway?

11.17.2003

I am procrastinating right now.

I have set a goal to finish at least a draft of my application essay for the japan teaching program tonight. It's difficult to explain all the reasons I want to go, and all the reasons I am qualified, in two double-spaced pages. But once all the application stuff is finished, there will be such a huge weight off my shoulders. When something like that is hanging over your head, it's stressful even when you're not working on it. And it feels like there's SO much riding on this, even though I am well aware that there are tons of other options if this particular program doesn't work out. I am stressing out about all the details, but everything will work itself out. I just want spring to get here. I'm ready to move again! Even though I like our new pad, I want to literally get rid of tons of stuff and simplify life. I think lots of possessions can really weigh you down, and I am a major packrat so I always feel like I'm drowning in clutter. That's because I'm a disorganized packrat with no time to clean. I think I could focus more on the really important things in life if I didn't have so many distractions floating around me all the time. In the same sentence, I want to give away the tv because it's evil and I watch it even when I don't want to, but I also saw Matilda on cable tonight and it was the greatest movie, and it really helped my state of mind, and helped me gather the courage to come to the computer and at least start the essay, something I'd been avoiding altogether for weeks now. So, it's a good evil for now at least. It's fall, but it doesn't feel like Thanksgiving or Christmas is coming at all to me. Perhaps because it's raining and fairly warm since the cold snap ended, so it seems like it's about September. I never really have gotten used to it being Thanksgiving and still above 30 degrees, so Christmas always sneaks up on me over here. In Montana, you KNOW when Thanksgiving and Christmas are coming around. OK, that was my rambling blog entry, but I said I would write one, so I did. And it granted me a few moments procrastination from the essay. But now - back to it...

11.15.2003

pretty pictures

I just had to add the Tori banner, because it's a classy photo of her and it adds some color to the page. Will probably take it off after the album comes out, but she'll be hanging out in my library for now. This should be an interesting album - sort of a greatest hits kind of concept, but she apparently has revisited the old material and added some new things. I used to be quite obsessed with her, but it's cooled down significantly over the past few years (although meeting her last spring was incredibly emotional - much more so than I expected it to be actually). There are even mp3s out there of new songs of hers that I haven't even gotten around to listening to yet. That would've been unthinkable a while ago. I guess I'm just growing and moving on, although I have yet to find another musician I feel as passionately about. Perhaps I never will, maybe there are more important things for me to focus on right now than idolizing some poor person who is just a person, yes, a talented musician (and yes, extremely beautiful and sexy), but not any sort of deity after all. I guess maybe I needed to meet her in order to understand that.

I'm a loser baby...

Sorry, one of those anthems of my formative years popping into my head as I'm feeling guilty after reading Diego's blog and realizing that yes, I am one of those bloggers he mentioned who never updates. I know. I'm terrible. However, I can say honestly I'm better than I was in the dream I had last night in which I smoked crack (in the dream it looked like a pipe full of those big salt crystals like you get on soft pretzals because I don't know what the hell crack looks like) and then I was featured in an Aerosmith video with Liv Tyler while stoned, then later cheated on my husband with this psychotic anorexic man at an arts and crafts fair. But that's another story altogether...

My real life is far less interesting, which is why I never post. That and I'm trying, fairly unsuccessfully, to work hard while I'm at work because performance evaluations are coming up. My real life goes like this: monday - work, eat, teach yoga, sleep; tuesday - work, eat, go to yoga, sleep; wednesday - work, eat, teach yoga, sleep; thursday - work eat, go to japanese class, sleep; friday - work, eat, clean or sit on couch in stupor, sleep. Honestly, that schedule takes up every hour of my day if you include bus rides to and from, so not much of interest is going on right now. This weekend is devoted to finishing up the applications for the JET program, because they are due very soon and I have to write a convincing essay about why they can't live without me. This is a bit daunting, but sometimes good work can be produced by the squeeze of last-minute necessity (as in it's due in a week so I have to write something no matter what it is). I'll try to come up with a decent blog post this weekend as well, but we'll see how it goes. It kind of hit me like a ton of bricks last night when I was telling someone in my Japanese class when we were leaving that it will be in about 7 months. Probably leaving B'ham in 6. Which means I really really need to start actually studying the japanese hard. I still keep thinking we're leaving in a year, but lo and behold, time is continuing to pass whether I'm paying attention or not.

If you haven't read Mom Finds Out About Blog in the Onion yet, go read it now. It's funny, but at the same time, so true. And why my name isn't on here - my mom really doesn't need to know about the crack whore dreams (although I did give my brother a link to this - so hey bro, if you're reading this, don't tell mom about the crack whore dream, okay? Thanks.)

11.01.2003

Awwwww.....

Isn't this just the sweetest story ever?