old habits...

Montana is truly a completely different planet from Bellingham, and while it's familiar, I far prefer the northwest coast. The scenery here is beautiful, but as we drove our Uhaul + Saturn caravan toward the outskirts of town and past the first Missoula city limits sign that had been riddled with about 50 bulletholes, I was quickly reminded of why we don't fit in here. From the heads of dead elk and antler-bedecked skulls all over the walls of the gas station where we turned in the Uhaul to the incense set at the mall that had incense cones in the shape of moose droppings that rested upon a ceramic leaf, I'm feeling out of place. Which is strange because, while I loved Bellingham, I always felt like a transplant. But I feel even moreso here, and in a month, will feel much much more a foreigner because we actually will be. I guess I should learn to be at peace with that feeling, but for some reason I've always connected very strongly to my surroundings, and that connection feels severed. At least I'm gathering some good writing material here, and will have even more when we head to the eastern part of the state. It's really quite weird to be staying with my husband in my old bedroom (packed in with boxes of all our earthly belongings) with the whole rest of the family here. It feels like I'm in high school again and like the last eight years never happened at all. Especially yesterday, running into the most popular girl from high school in the mall, and she had not changed a bit in appearance from 10 years ago. Although neither have I, so I guess I can't hold that against her. Anyway, I guess I feel a loss of independence, as it's hard to have your own time when staying with family, and I'm just so darn exhausted from this whole moving thing. It is great to visit with family though, and to breathe clean good-smelling air, and tomorrow will hopefully go visit the community theater that we used to nearly live at during high school. Will update more as my brain recovers from moving. We miss Bellingham and our friends there already!


At 5:11 PM, Blogger Diego said...

And Everyone in Bellingham misses you guys too! Glad you guys got there safe and sound!

At 7:25 AM, Blogger Gabriel said...

Going "back" is always a trip, isn't it?

Heheh, doing the same. Fear not, they are *all* jealous of our upcoming adventures.

Or so I tell myself when I feel so, so cold and alone at night.


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